Harvest Season

Strange title for a Spring blogpost, I know - but I feel that this summer we will be reaping some of what we've been sowing......(and who's really reading it anyway??!! HA!)
Last summer was different for us because John Brady was at the Autism Learning Center each day - this summer will be different because he's had a whole year of school and has grown so much -- as have we all.....so, we're about to be in harvest season.
I am not naiive, though -- It won't be picture perfect with no meltdowns or hard days -- but will ANYONE have a picture perfect summer?

I am also ready for a new "season" so to speak --- I can honestly say I grieve when Bible studies aren't in session - I miss my girlfriends and the consistency and accountability that a group Bible study brings. But I already see the silver lining this year because several have talked about (and already acted upon) ideas to get together even in our "off season".....just this morning a few of us were able to get together and share what's been happening and asking for prayer and accountability. Just because Bible studies are "done" for the summer, or it's not a Sunday or Wednesday, doesn't mean we can't be New Testament believers together every day!

Hopefully, more to follow soon............

A Very Strange Anniversary

I have always been a "date person" -- if something significant happens, I remember the date -- it's been this way for as long as I can remember.

October 7, 1989 was the day my family blew up.....

December 16, 1991 was the day I met my biological mother, and sister and brother ....

June 15, 1996 was the day some friends got married and I officially started "dating" my husband

November 28, 1996 was the day he proposed....

September 20, 1997 was the day he married me.....

April 25, 1999 was the day I found out I was going to have a Y2K baby....

October 13, 2007 was the day I lost my daddy

You get the picture

Well, today is one of those strange anniversaries - one I have very mixed feelings about.

On March 3, 2010, it was a Wednesday and someone faxed us the evaluation they had completed on John Brady.

And though I had fully anticipated what the bottom of the page would say, it still felt like a kick in the stomach when it said: 1. Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (Atypical Autism vs. Asperger's).........

it wasn't the only diagnosis on the page, but it was the one that brought the strangest mix of thoughts and emotions.

I had suspected it and begged for a full evaluation for quite some time - but a part of me still hoped I was wrong.

I did the first thing I could think to do.

I called my momma -- I couldn't say anything. I just needed someone to listen to me cry for a minute.

It was a Wednesday - so as our usual, we headed to church. But we never made it into the sanctuary -- Yancey had the full evaluation and had made two copies. We sat in the Guest Reception room and read it together. It was a hard read.

But before we left the room we looked at one another and said - Where do we go from here?

It was a relief for us since we'd been BEGGING for help for our family for so long.

And it was a relief to now have a diagnosis and somewhere to start.

But our road was far from ending.

So many positive things have come from all of this.

We felt such love from friends and family and strangers who participated in a fundraiser to help us send John Brady to a summer program at the local Autism Learning Center.

And that made such a HUGE difference in all of our lives.

We prayed and prayed and finally felt led to put him in public school --- this was a big deal for me as I homeschool our other two. but it was the best decision we could have made for him.

We've all come so far.

But he's come the farthest.

We still have struggles and setbacks and rough cycles --- but we are SO FAR from where we were one year ago today and I am so thankful and so blessed.

A very strange anniversary

Same Kind of Different

Our summer is over....and we don't have some long or luxurious vacation to look back on; there was only one trip to the river, only one trip to a pool, and a weekend stay with some friends who live close by. BUT OUR SUMMER CHANGED OUR LIFE!
After two months of what we called "summer camp" for John Brady at the Autism Learning Center, we have results that will last longer than any summer vacation memories or photographs. I still sit in awe of the differences in John Brady -- differences that have changed our daily life around here.
A child who three months ago would either ignore you when you came into the room or chase you out of it, was sitting the other day and showing his little sister how to play Lego Star Wars on the Wii....he has even begun giving his father voluntary affection.
And how has it affected him....since there's really only been one real "friend" for him in the last year or so, he learned how to make friends around children who were the "Same Kind of Different"......
And that's why this summer, though void of the kind of FUN most people would be so disappointed to miss, has changed our life......
And for that I will be forever grateful to our friends who worked tirelessly to put together a fundraiser, to the countless people who contributed, to those who prayed us through every day of John Brady's summer camp, and most importantly to a God who is still in the business of answering prayers and performing miracles. ...
Our God is Greater, Our God is stronger,
Our God is Higher than any other...
Our God is Healer,
Awesome in Power
Our God
Our God......

3 Months To Live

This summer our pastor began a sermon series on Colossians called 3 Months To Live - it's been wonderful and I will be sad to see it end as it has lead me to some serious self-examination and some very freeing decisions - even in some very non-spiritual ways. This summer has been a very different one for our family. With John Brady spending 8:30-2:30 at his summer program each day, Yancey Jr., Nancy Claire and I have been provided with a very different kind of day. And in the spirit of 3-months-to-live we've decided to enjoy it to the fullest. Instead of jumping right back into homeschooling after Vacation Bible School, I decided we needed to REALLY enjoy this summer and not start back until everyone else does in August. We've had playdates and movie days and time with grandparents, mid-day slip-n-slide fun and this CRAZY momma even sent them to 2 different churches for VBS and had 3 hours to myself each day for 2 weeks in a row! I know, dangerous, edgy....that's me! LOL
And it is incredibly hard to believe it's almost over! .....sad, really, really sad.....
Yancey Jr is on the trip of a lifetime this week -- his best friend and family took him on a cruise. I miss him something AWFUL....and can't wait til he gets home....and Nancy Claire and I have had some great time together this week.
My house isn't as clean as I had planned for it to be at the end of JB's summer program, but I have no doubt that in August we will all be glad that we had more fun than housework!
It's been a marvelous 2.5 months so far....John Brady has made great progress and we're making plans to keep him there as much as we can until school starts in August to prepare him for that. Well, gotta run,, getting ready for a swimming playdate.....But what different decisions would you make TODAY if you knew you only had 3 months to live? Would you be more zealous about KNOWING God, bringing others to KNOW Him, or BEING more like Him? What would you decide is a waste of your time? What are you spending your time doing that has no eternal value? 90-days......

JOY and HOPE

This past weekend we were invited by some friends to come for a ride on their new boat...that simple invitation gave me a wonderful gift: A Moment of True Joy. I decided to be a little adventurous which is NOT in my nature. I climbed in their three-seater innertube. Yancey on one side, Nancy Claire on the other and John Brady in the middle with me. And when I allowed myself to enjoy and not to focus on the fear of one of them flying out, I had a chance to tip my head back, feel the water and sun on my face, listen to their laughter and shouts of joy and PRAISE GOD for this moment, such a rare one....all three of my children within arms reach of myself (and each other) and truly enjoying something fun with not an ounce of irritation with one another. It was truly a gift.
And today I was brave enough to venture out with all three to the movie -- it's always a step of bravery -- who knows what might set John Brady off, overstimulate him, or stress him out to the point of running off in a crowd full of people. But I made it into the theater (just by the skin of my teeth mind you) and as we sat watching the previews of all the wonderful movies that are coming out this summer I had a sense of HOPE that I haven't had before. Don't misunderstand, I have always known that things would one day be better, a little easier, more enjoyable --- but today I felt a sense of Hope and Excitement because it feels like that "one day" is almost here. Even if something begins to set him off or overstimulates or stresses him, all of us will be better equipped to help him deal with it, and maybe even offset it before we get to that point. So a family trip to the movies won't seem like the idea of a lunatic....it will be a fun, spontaneous thing to do with each other! And I felt HOPE.....it's just around the corner, I can feel it!

Reality Bites

I remember that movie from oh, so long ago....and today is a day when my reality does bite a little....and so did John Brady.
We went this morning for his evaluation with the school board -- it's the evaluation where they determine whether he will need any special accomodations. I am not sure of the function of everyone in the room but I know there was an OT, a Speech Therapist, an Educational Specialist, and some sort of counselor/psychologist there.
But John Brady was not in the mood to perform today. In fact, he was in a pretty rotten mood----he decided he didn't even want to be in the same room with all of us and in trying to keep him in the room the battle began. The short version is that I ended up with a few bites, a few kicks, a few head butts, a busted lip, some broken glasses and a few choice words thrown towards pretty much everyone in the room. But eventually he performed the tasks they required.
I'd like to say the physical battle was the hardest part. But it wasn't. It was the dose of reality. The reality is my child WILL require special accomodations for his education. The reality is that though he is very bright he currently performs below expected for his cognitive abilities. The reality is that the stress of all those people wanting him to perform and not knowing if he could do what they were going to ask of him stressed him out to the point of hiding in a ball under a table. The reality is he's beginning to understand that in those situations everyone in the room IS talking about him as though he weren't there. The reality of it is in the Fall he is going to school that's not in our home and I am heartbroken over explaining that to him. I dont' want him to think we don't want him here with us doing school during the day; I don't want him to think he's going to school because he's been bad; I don't want him feel like he's failed or that I've failed him. But the reality is he probably will think or feel all of those things.
That was my dose of reality today. Reality Bites.

More Fun Than a Girl Ought To Have

Yes, there is never, EVER, a dull moment at the Nolan Household and the other day was no exception -- as my FB status updates indicated, it was a wild day, complete with goose eggs on the noggin and dog bites.....but that just goes with the territory. I guess I'd have to say that the most "enjoyable" -- if you must call it that -- time of the day was the fun we had with the shower! You see, John Brady is known for his water hose exploits....a couple of years ago he discovered fun with the water hose one afternoon in our back yard. Thankfully, at the time he was not able to turn on the water on his own, so we felt "safe". But shortly after that we were having dinner at some friends' home and all of our children were playing outside. They have the kind of water hose where you can leave the water turned on at the base and just press the sprayer to turn it on....you guessed it, John Brady realized this neat little factoid and went a little crazy -- however, their garage had some items that shouldn't get wet, including the 4 adults who were trying to get to the base to turn the water supply off! If I remember correctly, Yancey sr. ended up having to change clothes over there that night because he was a drowned rat......and that's what I was here the other night.

It's all fun and games til someone becomes a drowned rat!

I have often said that God makes those extra difficult children extra cute just to help them survive!! -- see it for yourself....

See what I mean.... who can resist that blue-eyed cuteness....

Yes, there are very long, hard days, days when everyone in our family pays a dear price for what we deal with. We've missed out on parties for our best friends, we've held back on outings as a family, we've left early from family functions because of meltdowns, we've searched through a very large church for a runaway John Brady, and the list goes on.

But, there are also such precious moments that are made even more special because they are more rare in our family than in most. We savor every time we get some unsolicited affection from John Brady, we treasure that he does have one friend that he really seems to like and play "with" and not "at", and when all three seem to be peaceful or truly playing and enjoying their siblings....it's a moment that makes a memory. Things many families take for granted, we know are things to treasure. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.